That's exactly what my daughter was. She was very shy and can't speak for herself, she wanted to do something but always scared to go..., there is no short-time solution at all

torontolife(Lilian)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛My daughter is now almost 12 , very active at school, almost joined all the school social activities ( volleyball, cross country, folk dance, French speach etc.), you name it, she has it. Our method is - don't push the child, but take her/him out of your house to anywhere, library, playground, science center etc. Anywhere that she or he will learn something exciting & new and also has chances to meet people. Don't push him to say hello if he is shy. Don't tell other people that your kid is shy , especially in front of him.
I think it is showing that the kid is nervous and lack of self-confidence. the only thing you can build up his confidence is to be patient and praise him every time he does something good, encourges him to try new things and make sure you provide him chances to learn new/exciting thing and meet more people.
this is what our family has done since she was about 4 years old, i still say that she is not 100% there yet, but I believe that we have achieved a lot over the year. She is happy, healthy and famous in her school as well.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

(#7318521@0)
Last Updated: 2012-2-29
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好像包子还是菜问过这个问题。你查查资料？ -c__wang(娇艳欲滴); 2012-2-29 (#7318515@0)

谢谢，我去查查。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-2-29 (#7318552@0)

多大了？你们有没有常常批评他，或者要求比较严格？ -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-2-29 (#7318517@0)

是男孩，快七岁了。在家里不知道多少话说，性格也很细腻。就是不知道怎样让他在外面feel more comfortable.其实我知道遗传因素起了很大作用。我和我先生小时候也这样，但我想帮帮孩子，这样的性格不适合在这个社会里生存。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-2-29 (#7318550@0)

多参加体育运动也许会有帮助，特别是跆拳道和武术之类的项目 -222123(123); 2012-2-29 (#7318567@0)

目前他参加的体育活动有HOCKEY, 跆拳道、游泳、夏天准备让他玩soccer. 但每项活动都平平，我在想，是不是我对他期望太高，自己不觉得，但实际上束缚了他。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-3-1 (#7321249@0)

That's exactly what my daughter was. She was very shy and can't speak for herself, she wanted to do something but always scared to go..., there is no short-time solution at all -torontolife(Lilian); 2012-2-29 {1066} (#7318521@0)

applaud for your parenting. -c__wang(娇艳欲滴); 2012-2-29 (#7318523@0)
非常赞！建议加精华，留给大家以后参考！ -lanzhuzhu(小懒猪); 2012-2-29 (#7318566@0)
非常羞愧的向您学习，偶就是对孩子偏严了，什么都想唠叨，把大家弄得紧张兮兮的。因为娃像我小时候太老实内向了，生怕他也像我一样四处碰壁，就想多教点，心里急的像焦虑症（说不定就是了）。 -paulin007(时光如梭); 2012-2-29 (#7318749@0)
Over the years, I had doubt, I almost gave up & I also called her "Chicken", but once my frustration bursted, -torontolife(Lilian); 2012-3-1 {1092} (#7323385@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I would go back to take her to whereever I promised or planned. Only parents with kids like those would understand the frustration I have experienced. Shy is not bad, a kid could be shy but still confident.
When your kids did something good, do not only simply say" good job", show more interest by asking" how did you do it" " Can you show me" " Why you did it this way", so those questions will get your kids talk about things that they are good at, in turn this will boost their self-confidence.
My kids will grow happy, healthy and full, with good personality and confidence to try things new. I don't take the marks seriously , does not mean that i don't take her education seriously. At their age ( 4-12), how to get them interest in learning is the most important part, not how many 'A"s she has got or how many Kumon classes she has taken.
So work with your kids, guide her or him and show her/him what they can achieve ( even tiny thing), you will open their minds and that will lead them to greater success in life ( not only a good job, good money, but good life)更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Very good and detailed suggestion, thanks! -garden91(深蓝); 2012-3-1 (#7323403@0)
××××××××××××××××精华××××××××××××××××××××× -banruo(ILOVEWIKI); 2012-3-1 (#7323556@0)

torontolife, 你说的都太好了。努力照你说的做。先从你说的具体的方法做起。非常感谢。另，为什么你的thread 后面没有reply？ -maotou830(maotou); 2012-3-2 (#7324208@0)

i don't know either..., i am not a very experienced Rolian good luck to you and your child! -torontolife(Lilian); 2012-3-2 (#7324221@0)

小孩能有这样的父母，真是生来的福气。向您学习 -nounou2009(nou); 2012-3-2 (#7324375@0)

建立自信。爸妈管得严的孩子就这样。他觉得自己很无能，什么事都做不好，老挨批评，产生自卑，以后什么事都缩头缩脚。 -2841999(大熊瞎子); 2012-2-29 (#7318531@0)

我们真不是这样的父母，也不觉得老在批评他，我先生还老说我太宠他。我们在家里很快乐。只有可能是接触生人太少了。我们也很内向，没什么朋友。我想这是问题所在。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-2-29 (#7318557@0)

Yes -tianluoguniang(明月人倚楼); 2012-3-1 (#7321717@0)

经常表扬他，一有好就表扬。。。多带他的朋友上家里玩。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-2-29 (#7318532@0)

给孩子报个足球班什么的，多和人接触接触就好了。。此外，不要事事都替他做主，给他犯错的机会，慢慢孩子就自信了。。。 -redsky(忧伤苹果之单眼皮控); 2012-2-29 (#7318556@0)

是这样的。而且轻易不断论“错“，可以说有更好的做法。 -copperbean(罄无不宜); 2012-2-29 (#7318592@0)

先在家练习，每次说话都看这彼此的眼睛；放手让他做任何他想做的，只要不危害自己，不危害社会，不危害他人，过一段时间看看。 -9seasons(ice); 2012-2-29 (#7318697@0)

my son 内向,羞涩,说话声音小 too, but 上课回答问题 is very good, for introvert child, important thing is to understand his personality and try to motivate and encourage him. -garden91(深蓝); 2012-2-29 (#7319612@0)

既与天生的性格有关也与后天的环境经历有关。我家大女小时候(3岁左右)当妈的就几乎每天经过某个铁栅栏时鼓励她爬上再爬下来，大人旅游时尽量带上她(参与hiking、爬山、划船之类)，结果后来胆子大到反而令人担忧：单人走夜路、敢爬树、喜欢走吊桥、玩过山车甚至跟男孩干架... -nvren( 学点金); 2012-2-29 (#7320285@0)

看了大家的建议，我自己总结。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-3-1 {338} (#7321250@0)

也许是我们的言传身教影响了他，一方面我们性格就内向，二方面对他期望太高。从今后，尽量多带他出去活动，不在家待着。多跟人交往。多鼓励他，表扬他，但决不再push他，逼着他跟大人打招呼（因为我不想他显得不礼貌，老是逼着他叫叔叔阿姨，或早上好之类的）。再也不当着他的面，对别人说“这孩子就是太害羞”之类的话。放手加鼓励。不批评，不在他面前表现失望。

好！ -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-3-1 (#7321252@0)
good and don't expect to see a dramatic change ..., give him and you lots of time -torontolife(Lilian); 2012-3-1 (#7321274@0)
你说的都很好，如果大人性格内向，再期望孩子外向，那对孩子要求太高了。多创造机会，让他与人交流，自家开party，playdate，带着他的朋友一起玩，多参加team sports，帮助他广交朋友。。。 -tianluoguniang(明月人倚楼); 2012-3-1 (#7321712@0)

你说的这些对我来说都是种挑战。我们住的是公寓楼，对门邻居就是中国人，也有个跟我儿子差不多大的孩子，我们都没来往过。责任真的在我们做父母的身上。儿子总想让我给办个birthday party，我都觉得头大，不是钱的问题，是不知道怎么张罗，嫌麻烦。今年一定要办。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-3-1 (#7322583@0)

主动和邻居打打招呼，约着一起带孩子去playground玩；B－day party在外面办，自己不用张罗太多，有的地方还可以雇个host，你就更轻松了。内向有点吃亏，不过如果孩子不在意，也没什么。别push 孩子，越push，孩子越紧张，孩子太可怜了，得push大人自己 -tianluoguniang(明月人倚楼); 2012-3-1 {54} (#7323128@0)
挺不容易的。接受孩子内向，觉得挺好，也是一种解决方案。

性格内向还是外向是天生的,基因决定的,可能和妈妈怀孕时候心情也有关系. 放松点,其实大人都有内向和外向之分,不也活得好好的? 孩子么, 健康快乐就可以.内向的不一定不快乐. -wushirenfei(Jingle Bell); 2012-3-1 (#7321819@0)

我先生也这么说，社会上都是一种类型的人，那会多么boring，也不可能要求人人都外向、领导型。将来总有个适合他的位置。道理我也懂，只是当妈的都希望孩子好。打个比方，以他这种性格，以后怎么参加面试？我没指望彻底改变他，但我希望帮他更好地在这个社会上立足生存。 -maotou830(maotou); 2012-3-1 (#7322692@0)

慢慢来吧。离工作面世还有段时间呢。不过胆小，害羞的孩子确实面试吃亏。除非你技术很厉害，且碰上伯乐。大家都怕有交流问题啊。 -ashura(碧落); 2012-3-1 (#7322973@0)
你和你老公也是内向的人,现在不也好好的? 我的意思不要急,慢慢来,多让儿子参与体育运动. -wushirenfei(walking in the snow); 2012-3-1 (#7322987@0)

总结得非常好。性格内向或者外向都很正常，要多欣赏孩子，没必要着急。 -taoyuan(天涯); 2012-3-1 (#7323016@0)

"见多识广" 对孩子也适用的, 而且非常重要, 因为孩子也有自己的社会圈子, 有谈话主题, 不知道的事情太多, 就不能加入谈话, 怕说不对. 家长可以不参与孩子学习的事情, 但让孩子开阔眼界, 长见识的事, 家长必须积极参与. 先从周围孩子玩什么,谈什么开始. -liz.queen(Queen); 2012-3-1 (#7323605@0)

这个有点没关连. 有好多孩子啥也不知道, 照样开朗活泼. 性格是天生的, 长大的过程会有改变, 更甭担心面试问题, 那真是杞人忧天. -xiaoxiuliang(xiaoxiu); 2012-3-1 (#7324014@0)

That's exactly what my daughter was. She was very shy and can't speak for herself, she wanted to do something but always scared to go..., there is no short-time solution at all

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