本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Doctor **,
I went to psychologist today, he referred me to see my family doctor, so I am writing this about current my husband situations, which significantly affect our family quality since we got married in 2005 Oct.
Please determine the health situation for me and my husband, I doubted I suffer from acute depression, and my husband, he was doubt a serious OCD or something else psychologically that I don’t know.
It is a long story:
In 2006, he pushed me by his hand, he was worried in his face, don’t know why he was worried, because the push was not a right thing or because afraid someone saw it, and will call the police. I just cried for a while, and then I found since that day, he has been hitting me until 2009 January, when we know I was pregnant.
During that time, in 2007 September, I had one miscarriage; before we got this news, I felt uncomfortable especially in August, I told him I am not okay, he responded me “ don’t think you are pregnant is a big deal, it is not important.”
In 2007 One day, he was teaching me how to drive, as a drive student, I made a scratch on our old car, he blamed on me and gave me a kick, I felled on floor.
If I didn’t drive well, he threw shoes on my head.
When he drives, if he doesn’t feel happy with my conversation, he asked me to leave and say” get out of my car”
When we stay at home, if he doesn’t feel happy with my conversation, he said “don’t touch my computer “or “get out”
In 2007, one day, when he was chatting with our Chinese friend, he called me a “扫把星”, which means I am a women only brings bad luck. It made difficulty for our friend to response, and the friend told him, please don’t say that.
In 2008,One day, I was not intended have a wall scratched a little bit, after he back home, I told him, “I made something not good, please don’t blame on me, okay?” he said okay, then I brought him to take a look, the result was he has blamed on me for one day.
He called me “stupid pig”, “bitch”
He always gets the better of our quarrels, the excitement quickened my pulse. and every time , he was the person with last sentence, which means I am the one to concession. Because I knew he lose his parent when he young, he need more love, patient and tolerance. So when he is not happy, when he has pressure, when he blame on me, when he hit me, I told me to understand him, understand his pressure from work. I did one thing----open windows and deep breathe, it works, at least, it clams down my angry, my grievance.
Sometimes, I have no idea, I cannot hit him, I cannot persuade him, I felt unfair, but how can I help me feel better, I slapped on my own face.
I wrote a lots paper with tears to him, he said: “I will never take my time to see long paragraphs “and throw it to me.
Then, I asked if you want to talk with me, I want to talk to you.”
He said” I don’t have time”,
then I asked “ can I make an appointment with you?”
he said “okay”.
Then, I waited until the appointment; just speak for couple sentences, he said” don’t talk anymore, I know what you want to say. That is enough. Period”!
I wanted to talk to him , I have been trying every year, unfortunately, I didn’t get chance to talk to him, so I wrote a lots paper, what I want to said, what I want to try improve our relationship, I gave to him, he even did not take a look.
I never forgot a feeling, one time I have spent 3 hours to write my feeling until 3:00am. I gave to him, he said he won’t take a look of it, and he tore the paper, my feeling: my heart was broken.
He wants a baby, so we tried very hard. My mom told me “be happy” in the telephone; she said it is the good way to have a baby. But I cried almost every day, in the evening, I cannot fall in sleep. I don’t speak to anyone, I don’t know who can trust, to help me, I was new in Canada, I don’t know, I burden all the problem by myself.
2009 January, I was pregrent, due date is November 7th.
In September, He forced me to study 5 courses, at that time, only 2 months away from the due date. And plus a extra tax course, total 6 courses in order to find my co-op job in January. During the study in the winter time, I was felled on the ground in the campus in October. As a result, as he wanted to get, I finished all 6 courses and got the co-op job in H&R Block to work from January to April. In September, other than 6courses, I had 10 interviews with companies in order to find a co-op job. I failed 10 times interviews, I had pressure from study 6courses, I had pressure to prepare interview, I had pressure to accept the failed interviews, I had the pressure from my husband’s blame ,such as, you forgot to ask the business card from the interview, you are so stupid, your friends, why is so smarter than you, she can got a job, and you cannot.
He tried to help me to understand the study so he was contributed a lot time to explain the assignments for me, but I was so tried, I felt sleep when he was teaching me, he said” you are so lazy” and left an very unhappy and unsatisfied facial cues to me.
When we talked about the study while I was pregrent, my husband said: “whether you go to school, how many courses you choose to study is your decision, you should responsible for your own decision. Don’t say I forced you.”
I was bleeding on November 5th, but I was studying on my desk
On N更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
I went to psychologist today, he referred me to see my family doctor, so I am writing this about current my husband situations, which significantly affect our family quality since we got married in 2005 Oct.
Please determine the health situation for me and my husband, I doubted I suffer from acute depression, and my husband, he was doubt a serious OCD or something else psychologically that I don’t know.
It is a long story:
In 2006, he pushed me by his hand, he was worried in his face, don’t know why he was worried, because the push was not a right thing or because afraid someone saw it, and will call the police. I just cried for a while, and then I found since that day, he has been hitting me until 2009 January, when we know I was pregnant.
During that time, in 2007 September, I had one miscarriage; before we got this news, I felt uncomfortable especially in August, I told him I am not okay, he responded me “ don’t think you are pregnant is a big deal, it is not important.”
In 2007 One day, he was teaching me how to drive, as a drive student, I made a scratch on our old car, he blamed on me and gave me a kick, I felled on floor.
If I didn’t drive well, he threw shoes on my head.
When he drives, if he doesn’t feel happy with my conversation, he asked me to leave and say” get out of my car”
When we stay at home, if he doesn’t feel happy with my conversation, he said “don’t touch my computer “or “get out”
In 2007, one day, when he was chatting with our Chinese friend, he called me a “扫把星”, which means I am a women only brings bad luck. It made difficulty for our friend to response, and the friend told him, please don’t say that.
In 2008,One day, I was not intended have a wall scratched a little bit, after he back home, I told him, “I made something not good, please don’t blame on me, okay?” he said okay, then I brought him to take a look, the result was he has blamed on me for one day.
He called me “stupid pig”, “bitch”
He always gets the better of our quarrels, the excitement quickened my pulse. and every time , he was the person with last sentence, which means I am the one to concession. Because I knew he lose his parent when he young, he need more love, patient and tolerance. So when he is not happy, when he has pressure, when he blame on me, when he hit me, I told me to understand him, understand his pressure from work. I did one thing----open windows and deep breathe, it works, at least, it clams down my angry, my grievance.
Sometimes, I have no idea, I cannot hit him, I cannot persuade him, I felt unfair, but how can I help me feel better, I slapped on my own face.
I wrote a lots paper with tears to him, he said: “I will never take my time to see long paragraphs “and throw it to me.
Then, I asked if you want to talk with me, I want to talk to you.”
He said” I don’t have time”,
then I asked “ can I make an appointment with you?”
he said “okay”.
Then, I waited until the appointment; just speak for couple sentences, he said” don’t talk anymore, I know what you want to say. That is enough. Period”!
I wanted to talk to him , I have been trying every year, unfortunately, I didn’t get chance to talk to him, so I wrote a lots paper, what I want to said, what I want to try improve our relationship, I gave to him, he even did not take a look.
I never forgot a feeling, one time I have spent 3 hours to write my feeling until 3:00am. I gave to him, he said he won’t take a look of it, and he tore the paper, my feeling: my heart was broken.
He wants a baby, so we tried very hard. My mom told me “be happy” in the telephone; she said it is the good way to have a baby. But I cried almost every day, in the evening, I cannot fall in sleep. I don’t speak to anyone, I don’t know who can trust, to help me, I was new in Canada, I don’t know, I burden all the problem by myself.
2009 January, I was pregrent, due date is November 7th.
In September, He forced me to study 5 courses, at that time, only 2 months away from the due date. And plus a extra tax course, total 6 courses in order to find my co-op job in January. During the study in the winter time, I was felled on the ground in the campus in October. As a result, as he wanted to get, I finished all 6 courses and got the co-op job in H&R Block to work from January to April. In September, other than 6courses, I had 10 interviews with companies in order to find a co-op job. I failed 10 times interviews, I had pressure from study 6courses, I had pressure to prepare interview, I had pressure to accept the failed interviews, I had the pressure from my husband’s blame ,such as, you forgot to ask the business card from the interview, you are so stupid, your friends, why is so smarter than you, she can got a job, and you cannot.
He tried to help me to understand the study so he was contributed a lot time to explain the assignments for me, but I was so tried, I felt sleep when he was teaching me, he said” you are so lazy” and left an very unhappy and unsatisfied facial cues to me.
When we talked about the study while I was pregrent, my husband said: “whether you go to school, how many courses you choose to study is your decision, you should responsible for your own decision. Don’t say I forced you.”
I was bleeding on November 5th, but I was studying on my desk
On N更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net